Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Wedding Bells Sound Better...

...When Mixed With Tanq and Tonic

Keighdee came home bearing gifts this evening. In her sack of delights were a bottle of gin, a bottle of tonic water and some rum that tasted like suntan lotion. Along with these glorious wonders was a magazine devoted to helping newly engaged people think out and plan their wedding.

I'm no stranger to this topic, if anything I was completely an instigating half of its genesis. We'd been in the mall, passed a jewelry store and I thought we should go in. That was about eight months or so ago. Now we aren't just looking. I suppose that means this is for real real and not for play play. Damn you Chris.

This sort of thing doesn't scare me in the way I think it should. I mean that I don't wake up at night screaming for a simpler time or vomiting massive quantities of my manhood onto pleated pants. Instead, I sweat to the thought of having no career and no defined future while simultaneously wondering if I ever will have either. How can I support someone else without those things to support myself?

It doesn't help that my brothers, both biological and half-blood, are lukewarm on the idea. I do not blame them though, "in a world of men raised by women maybe the last thing we need is another woman." Thank you for the Christmas gift, Josh.

At least I am excited about the ordeal. I get to bring together a collection of atheists, gay men and general miscreants into a church where I will ask them to witness blessed union. Will they swear upon the book on my behalf? Will that book be Moby Dick? You're goddamn right it will be. We are hunting whales, mates, and there be dragons in this ocean that would piss in your hat just as soon as spit in your tea.

Happy hunting, oh my brothers.

1 comment:

Aaron McClaskey said...

we're warming.

blessed bells to you and yours.

step softly,
aaron